Desires

[S] We have a good God. Let me say again - we have a GREAT God.

Since bringing G home and trying to fall into a routine, I have been waking up at around 7am. Not that I have much to get ready for the day, but it gives me some time to myself - even time to take a shower! This past Sunday I was getting ready to watch the worship service online at 9:45am and trying to get G satisfied and content so she could rest while I watched. G happily obliged.

Not.

G was as fussy as ever! I had done everything I thought she wanted... fed, changed, burped, rocked. The more I tried, the more it seemed like her cries got louder, her tears were fuller, and she even scratched her precious face (which almost made me cry). I looked at the clock and it was around 10:15am - I was going to have to wait until the next service. As I pleaded with G to miraculously speak her first words and tell me what she needed/wanted, I became more and more frustrated - for a couple reasons:
- How come she hasn't stopped crying?
- What did she want?
- Why couldn't I enjoy this Sunday worship service?... God, I want to worship you, please quiet G so I can listen.
- Why did she scratch her face??
- How can I keep her quiet for the next hour?
- What is it that G desired?

Then my thoughts began to evolve as I thought about how God gives us the desires of our hearts. I thought about how God provides even the desires that we do not know we need... before we ask! AND the best part is... He does not make mistakes. God gets it right the first time. Unlike... me. Hahaha poor G. At least God is her ultimate Father.

³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37

As I still process through these thoughts, I am simply humbled and am brought down to my knees. I may not always provide the right thing for G on the first try. I will make mistakes because, let's face it - I am human. Not only am I human, but I am a sinful human being. There will be moments (and already have been some) where my selfishness will really try to overpower my maternal instinct. But it is comforting to know that as long as I surrender G to the Lord, she will be protected and cared for in every aspect of her life.

The scratch by her nose that almost made me cry... (much bigger in person).

Our family walk in the neighborhood.